Trading Standards called in

For months now locally an 'Exciting experience' has been advertised. It is a british Lapland experience.Advertised as 'winter wonderland', santa's grotto, greeting by elves, santa's workshop, reindeers, husky,s,open air ice skating, snow covered forests, alpine huts, traditional food and drinks, artic animals,nativity scene,s, you get the picture, everything you associate with traditional Lapland.
It opened this weekend, charges £30 per head, but have read in local paper that this was the reality.
Trading standards have been called in, RSPCA have been called in, the local employment agency has withdrawn its supply staff as Santa was puched on the nose, elves were slapped and assaulted.
This was the reality:
SANTA'S GROTTO. Santa was caught smoking and had a few too many Gluwein, you could only visit santa if you paid and extra £10 to have a photo otherwise he would only wave to you out a window. The santa gift was cheap and nasty and they ran out of girls pressies within the first hour. Consequently Santa was decked on the chin.

GREETING BY ELVES; no elves just a sign on an upturned traffic cone saying welcome to Lapland. Plus the elves were sleeping off hangovers.

ALPINE HUTS AND CHRISTMAS FARE. 6 B and Q sheds, most of which were closed and the only 2 open sold wrapping paper.

WRITE A NOTE TO SANTA. ran out of paper in the first hour.

VISIT TO NATIVITY SCENE. A sign saying over the bridge to visit nativity which was a picture of a nativity scene nailed to a fence.

DECORATE GINGERBREAD MEN WITH THE ELVES. Gingerbread ran out after an hour and elves were too drunk to do any-thing any-way.

OPEN AIR SKATING. was indoors and could not be used because the ice did not freeze.

FACE PAINTING FOR KIDS. two red circles on kids cheeks in bright red paint.

ALPINE ANIMALS. one tired, old reindeer, a donkey, 2 thin alsations tied up to a kennel made of pallets, one old large rabbit.

CAMP FIRE AND LOGS. Could not be lit because fields previous use was banger racing and there was still petrol and oil residue, but you could sit on a few old car tyres.

SNOW COVERED FORESTS. Muddy fields with a splattering of white paint, polystyrene trees, and a splattering of artificial snow.

TRADITIONAL FOOD. Gluwein ran out after an hour,(probably due to santa and his elves), not hot chocolate or any hot drinks as water ran out, chips and burgers and turkey and cranberry baguettes, turkey ran out in first hour
Dont get me wrong I feel really sorry for the parents, the kiddies and the animals but I did find it funny. Especially as I had persuaded my hubby to let us take our niece next weekend.........guess we wont be going now :lol:

We do things so well in this country...... :twisted:

Nice to see someone with some enterprise

Man, that sounds like it would definately be worth 30 quid :D

Tony_H wrote:Nice to see someone with some enterprise

I am sure some of us on J2 could have put something to-gether, much more entertaining. :lol:

The only thing I would have done differently is charge more.

tino_11 wrote:Man, that sounds like it would definately be worth 30 quid :D

I am half tempted just for the giggle

Get drunk first!!!