Skiing in Sand: A Tale? Version DaveMac

Chapter 2

Yes yes I know I promised "other personalities", but after listening again to the tape of my "surprise guest speaker about J2ski" I have to do this "unique personality"! There is just too much to say, too much to learn from him!

The earlier you learn about this man,,the better it is!

Trust me after reading this,,you will smile all day! You will be better prepared to "meet him"! In essence I am doing this for the younger skiers on this site and the future generations which will "discover" this unique site!

So sit down ( because soon you will e laughting),,take a sip of that tea, coffee, or wee XXXXXX since soon the glass will shake!

Remember now the scene! I am on a small plane, trying to be a "tourist" while this ski expert who religiously follows all the J2ski posts is trying to convince me (the ski beginner)to visit this site! Not just for great skiing advice,,but also the great "characters" who post messages!

How did he introduce DaveMac????

Here it is! Fasten your seat belts,,,we are going on a wild emotional ride discovering DaveMac via the eyes of this man!

"DaveMac,,,,,ha DaveMac" he begins, "he is one of the reasons I log on every day" What a man! No NO ! What a kaleidoscopic man" he exclaims.

"Kaleidoscopic man" I ask? What do you mean? You know everytime you turn and get a new angle you get a new DaveMac! New patterns,,new brilliance!!! Let me illustrate.

I stop him and interject, "you mean a Rennaissance Man". "No NO that would be too simple,,too easy" he replies. "No,,,, he is a human kaleidoscope,,ever changing,,ever showing new fascets,,ever showing brilliant sides and yes sometimes "blinding me in his brilliance"!!

"Really,,,how" I asked hoping to keep him on track.


"Well let me start at the very beginning,,his Manchester roots! I noticed" began my fellow passenger that he does not speak too much about this part of his life,,so I contacted his great skiing friend Mel. Seems he knew little about his youth so I knew friends who lived in the area and were in the "educational field"! After some digging we hit "gold"! Seems this lad was brilliant,,,,but to some too brilliant! Questionned many educators, took half the time to do what most students did!
His essays are not used as models.

Finally he just had to leave Manchester. Too many old girlfriends "fighting" for him and too many fathers roaming the streets trying to find him! Seems his wife was his salvation! The "colder" climate cooled him down!

"But let us forget about his "active youth in Manchester" my fellow passenger whispered, "the best is to come"! His youth just gave us a peek of the many many adventures he would begin!

First his label: The Guide. On this site he is the reference par excellence. He knows the best and faster route to that small village in the third ski valley in far of Nepal! He knows where there are men's and womens washrooms in every pub in Austria! If you look very carefully at the end of many Austrian bars and the right side you will see a smal brass plaque which reads, "To honor XXXXXXX for his long long support of this enterprise"

"But enough about the early days,,now he has "matured" and that is what we will focus on" stated the expert! I have followed him on this site for many years and here are some key words about him; smart very smart, kind, experienced in many many ways, head strong, constantly learning, welcoming to new members,and above all a pearl dropper!"

"A pearl dropper? What is that" I asked?

My fellow expert settled into his plane seat and I could tell this was going to be a long one. He pause for effect, took a long breath and began, "why I read his posts more than others is that not only does he inform me but he also entertains me.Here is one of his pearls.

ony, wash your mouth out, preferably with Zillertaler stuff.

or

Hear tel yon Londoners were guy shitin their breechs.

You see how he causes Dave the site managers to have headaches! Always pushing the limit (like in his young days in Manchester)

Then there are some classic DaveMac quotes, that I am sure will appear in future ski ressource manuals! Such as,
"
Was thinking of heading off to Niederau in a couple of weeks dear."
"Really Dave? But you just came back last week"
"Did I really dear? Did I have a good time?"

Now I must warn you that this DaveMac fellow does a lot of mental jousting ( sometimes in three languages) and he has one very special opponent! Tony (you know that drop dead handsome fellow,,who takes stange pictures of rail lines)

Also he has one subject you should never but ever discuss wth him ,,if you visit this site. It is Neidereau,, a tiny vilage in Austria.

There are many stories why he is so "sensitive" about this village. One is that as a young lad,,while just learning to ski a local maid ( this was before his misses) passed him with 225 cm skis and just a pole!

He could not catch up! His pride was "hurt" so tried to find out who she was ( and still trying)! On this trip he was with a famous man, an author of some detective novels,,,,hummmm forgot his name Sir cccsomething! Regardless,,the whole village knew about his quest to meet this lady,, and so the more he tried to "meet her", more the villagers talked about it! Finally he found out she was the local pub owner's girl,,,,so soon he was visiting the establishment and yes if ever you visit this inn,,you will find a stool reserved in his name!

The girl? She became a Olympic champion and on the podium she thanked an english gentleman for makingher ski so fast,,just to get rid of him!

But back to the pearls. I did mention that Tony controversy,,well seems all J2ski members sit down ever evening and watch the DaveMac / Tony match! Some even promote it! Thus perals such as this come out from DaveMac,
"
I think you are a troublemaker Caron, and you are out to cause bother between me and Tony-H,"

"How old is he" I asked my fellow traveller? A pause then this reply, "not sure. His school records have disappeared during the First great war and he does show his age with such "incidents,
"Was thinking of heading off to Niederau in a couple of weeks dear."
"Really Dave? But you just came back last week"
"Did I really dear? Did I have a good time?"

And sometimes he seems confused like in this post,"

I can say for sure, in my case, there is zero chance of kilt and ski coming together. (but later he dreams of just doing the deed) and confirms HE WILL SKI WITH KILT!!!!

On a serious side Dave Mac is more mature now and willing to share his secrets with others. According to my resident expert on this site,,,,he has noted a softer tone when DaveMac speaks to AJ, Gordieski and even Bandit!

Here is a quote,

"Firstly AJ, "That Inn" in Niederau is Tennladen Cafe. Most years, the Austrian men's ski team train on the Tennladen race area This includes both downhillers on the measured speed run, and also the GS and slalom skiers. This happens early in the week before the Hahnemkan, usually, second or third week in January. Didn't happen this year, but the Japanese ski team were here.

Your opportunity Adele to get up real close to guys wearing skin tights. Tighter than my never-worn red racing trousers Tony H!!

Course you won't see "that dance", we don't have that kind of behaviour in Niederau.

Notice the kind words. The gentle advice!Never like that with Tony1

But there is another side to DaveMac, the kaleidoscopeman! Just shake hime a little and this will happen!

Three summers ago, getting on a bus in Pisa, an American chap threw his child trolley on board, whacking my OH on the head, and producing a muckle bruise. Getting off the bus, I mildly suggested he was ignorant, and an Ar..h..e, to boot. He proceeded to whack me across the head.

Off the bus, I lowered my rucsac to the ground, and mild mannered man that I am, leaned back on to the bus, grabbed him by the Gho....s, twisted, and pulled, whereupon, he shot over my shoulder, complete with ripped jeans, at the appropriate area, and landed on his feet. Given that he was less than half my age, I did think there might be some ensuing action, but none there was.

Brought a whole new meaning to the word "Yank"

At the same time,,he is tender, soft, yes even melodramatic like when his budgie bird died! He described the death in detail and even his funeral! What man does that on a ski site!

According to my fellow traveller,,there is a rumor that DaveMac is really Jan in disguise! Jan just want to increase his "business" so he creates this "character" so that the village will be mentionned every posting! ( and Dave the site admin will not consider this advertisement)

His skiing friend Mel states that DaveMav has,'progressed and mellowed" over the years! Unlike Tony who tells everyone all the deals,,,,DaveMac keeps them to himself! He know how to keep secrets! That is why he is respected so much!

Yes hard headed, yes opinionated, but a man who knows the limits and respects others!

The greatest compliment you can give him is that his sons still ski with him, his friends still are amazed at his stamina, his wife still accepts his "wandering mind' and his dogs do not bite him!

I suspect he "pretends" to forget or not hear some of Tony's comments,and he often mentions that his knees and eye sight are not that good,,,,still he sees a "broken" thumb 200 meters away. Still skis with Mel after years of searching that perfect resort!

Yes he will break the record of the most ski resorts skied by one man in a life time!

So in conclusion,,if you are new to this site DaveMac the guide, the terror, the Mayor of Neiderau, is the one to take seriously! He will guide you since he has already claculated the cost of using a "camper" to ski in, the cost of rowing to Finlad and renting a helicopter to etc,,,

What he has not done is try a "special" mountain that is close to his back! A mountain where his heart will be in his mouth and speed will have no meaning!

In short DaveMac is a man of all seasons,,of all ages. Timeless! Listen to him! His words are gold! His feelings are platinum!

The Master Guide and master skier!

So ended my fellow travellers presentation. I could see admiration in is eyes and that long long gaze towards Neiderau!

I just kept silent and smiled!

He is the man on this site according to my fellow traveler!

And I finish with this famous DaveMac saying,,,,that I will never know why our site censor did not ,,,,,,,,,,,,

Hear tel yon Londoners were guy shitin their breechs.

pavelski wrote:Chapter 2

"DaveMac,,,,,ha DaveMac" he begins, "he is one of the reasons I log on every day" What a man! No NO ! What a kaleidoscopic man" he exclaims.

"Kaleidoscopic man" I ask? What do you mean? ..............

:shock: