Body Tune up

I've never had a major knee surgery on any other part of my body- Winston Bennet Soccer.

Thought I would begin this section on a positive note!

This section will focus on the "healthy" skier. That is all aspect of your body and mind which will help you ski better!

I recently did some, "field research" on this topic to better myself for this section. I have collected many interesting "gems"


We all think we are invincible since we all do our 5 km. run, 15 km. bike trips, 2 hours per day in the gym! Comes a time when the body needs some tune-up also! So you will all at one point visit your local tune up shop , better know as hospital!

There is one huge problem, that you will only realized once in this location. Then it is too late!

The problem is that you are NOT sick! You just need a body tune up! The hospital however works on the sick model so you constantly must remind "others" that you are autonomous!

The following are some suggestions how to survive this visit.

You must think of your visit like an expedition to Everest! That is you must have support staff to get you that cup of great coffee, that new novel, those new clean T-shirts, re-charge the Ipod, wash your face in the first few hours of trauma!

In my case I visited my favorite local coffee store and had them prepare MY coffee MY way. I paid in advance so the supply was perfect and just in time!

Like the expedition to Everest, you must prepare your equipment! In my case I had to take some shorts, cut along vertical axis on left left and sew some velcro! Why!
It was my statement to staff that I was NOT sick so I did not wear those KKK white sheets with rear exposure! I wore my shorts and any time some physician wanted to see the tune up area,,,,zippppp off went the shorts!

To survive you must learn the, "arms-length" rule! Practice before you go to hospital. It will save your autonomy, sanity and pride!

What is this rule?
All essential objects must be at arms length to you! Great to have an Ipod but if it is AL + 5cm ( Arms length +5 cm.) it is a great decoration!
Worst is that unrinal at AL + 2 cm.

One of my support staff for my expedition was my wife. She neatly folded three face clothes and placed them AL+25 cm. Time to vomit came due to morphine! Could not get face clothes for two hours! Believe me the AL rule will save you a lot of grief aqnd pride!


Another survival rule!
You can survive easily for 10 days without eating but you must drink constantly! Stop eating 2 days before tune up to body! Empty your body of all solid wastes since you will not be able to move for at least three days! For those who did not follow this rule, they understand what I am talking about!

However always have energy drinks available. In my case I prepared some tea with honey and cooled mixture! I drank 5 liters per day!


In the hospital you are constantly reminded that you are just passing by and MUST follow rules, schedules etc...So you are awakened at 6 AM ( even if you have been up all night) to take pain pill since that is when morning shift starts! You are "cleaned" at 9:30 AM since that is the time it is done!
Be pro-active. Think of you needs before you need them. So in my case I had one of my girls to wash me with a great perfumed soap when I wanted at 6 AM!

My boys would come with new shorts and T-shirts every day! That SPA free visit I got at Christmas was used, by having a masseur come to me and give me the very best session I ever had! You see I am not sick! Just need a tune up!

Like in the Everest expedition, you must plan food intake. I have nothing against hospital food, however as you must have concluded I am "particular" on what I eat! Again think ahead ! Plan for food that has low mass, high liquid content! Use the mouse technique!

You have no idea what the mouse technique is?
Hide food bits so that you can eat any time your body wants! Try getting food at 2AM! Sorry that is not considered emergency!

If you are a skier then the next topic will interest you!
Every hospital have these! They are called the exquisite torturers ( usually women)!

You have two choices; submit to them and have excruciating pain now or pretend to have pain and suffer later at home or on the slopes!

They are called the physio-therapist! The new matra in body tune ups is movement as soon as possible!In my case I had a machine very much like the medieval torture chains which spread your body! In my case it was more electronic so various pain levels could dialed in to the mmmmmmm level!
They would tie you down with velcro, smile as the digital control panel would decide what pain level I was to have! Off the physio would go and I was stuck with this metal/electronic machine!

Now if you can take this for 20 minutes , you graduate to "private" session with full torture apparatus! These exquisite torturers all are beautiful, healthy and with great smiles! Notice how their smiles increase as does your pain! They pick them well!

Seriously, if I have one very vital advice to give to you all as skier, it is listen and take the pain then! Do not cheat on the torture! It will make for better skiing!

In conclusion on major point,,,,be prepared! Be autonomous because no one will at 3 AM come to help you! Get friends to support you with "secret" deliveries of;great Thai soups, great grandmothers soups, great coffee!

You are not sick! Just need a tune up!