Strangest pole use

There seems to be a debate about the "utility" of ski poles these days. Here are my reasons for not discarding poles in alpine skiing!

1. Great to hold up hood of my car when I want to charge battery.

2. Great to release my bindings

3. Excellent sausage holders when making fire in winter camping.

4. Excellent extension to take ice off chair cables ( dripping on ski suits).

5. Perfect slings or supports to "hold" fractured ski leg ( in my old ski patrol days)

6. Perfect "traffic baton" in ski lines

7. Perfect back scratching tool while on lift.

8. Great "aid" for old skiers who have to get up , after visit to base snow!

9. Useful tool to get ice off tops of skis.

10. Excellent tool to determine the angle of inclination of slope using trig and PDA.

11. Perfect seat platform in Spring tanning.

12. Excellent tool to locate "lost" ski in 50" of snow.

13. Excellent tool to make "breathing tunnel" in snow cave.

14. Perfect tool to balance ski boots over shoulder.

15. Very best door jams.

16. The very best support for 2 year old skier.

17. Best "feelers" in very steep crevices

18. Excellent musical instruments when stuck in chair lift for 3 hours,

19. Perfect support for wet clothing in tent.

20. Excellent extension in order to tap the back of that "blonde" just 4 skiers ahead of you in ski line!


I am sure there are "others" that have more imagination than me.
Help me convince Trencher that poles are useful members of our skiing family. Show us why they must not be discarded like old rags. They need our love and attention.

You list some of the valuable services ski poles have performed for you!