Ski Jokes......for AllyG

RoseR wrote:A guy went into a bar and said 'shall I tell you a snowboarder joke', the bartender says you should be warned I am a boarder, the bloke behind you is a boarder and the one behind him is as well.
The guy said o k a y I 'l l t e l l i t m u c h s l o w e r

Tony_H wrote:The penguin decides he has had enough of the arctic circle, and books himself onto a flight to London, desparate to see the Queen. He flies into Heathrow, and after stepping off the plane realises just how warm England is compared to his home."Ooh, hot day, hot day" he mumbles shuffling to baggage collection and putting £2 into the vending machine for a couple of freezing cold bottles of water.
Unsure of public transport, he hires a car. The sales person makes sure he has got air conditioning and AA cover just in case. Off he trots to the car pick up area. "Ooh very hot very hot" and sweat starts to pour off his brow.
He finally locates his car, gets in and cranks the air con as low as possible. "Aah, hot day, hot day".
He finds his way onto the M4 and heads into town, only for the car to start spluttering and grind to a halt. Now he is really sweating. Luckily, he has got AA cover, so he gives them a ring on his penguin mobile, but its too hot sitting in the car, so he starts walking towards an ice cream van parked at Heston services. "Hot day hot day, very hot very hot".
"What can I get you sir?" says the ice cream man.
"99, very hot. No flake, hot day."
And the ice cream man hands him a super size cornet with lovely cold vanilla ice cream. Penguin dabs the ice cream all over his face to cool down, and waddles back to the car, only to find the AA man already under the bonnet.
"Ooh hot day hot day" says Penguin as the AA man turns round to tell him "I think I've found the problem sir" looking at Penguin with ice cream all over his face. "It looks like you've blown a seal......."