OA's post (at 30/03/2012 19:19:24) about the "classification of holiday/part time skiers" simply rocks!!!
Just added my "TopPost" to it! SOOOO ENTERTAINING!!! (genuine too)!
(PS: The only thing bad about this forum is that it's becoming addicting! ... I'm afraid I spent way too much time browsing through so many various posts... a bit similar to starting a new book, discovering you liked it, and not being able to put it down...)
PS#2: I guess I kind of fit between a "4–Intermediate" and "5–Advanced skier", but, ... HEY: I also reckoned I could say that I DO have a touch of "True professional" ...when it comes to building my "Kit" (more about comfort)!!! :D ;), ... ... Again: hilarious classification, OA!!! Trully enjoyed reading it!
Skier Types
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and it is always the same !!!!!
This bald assumption that there is a problem as perceived by some do-gooder or single issue pressure group or politicisan wanting re-election or specialist wanting funds for his/her speciality .....
Always the same ......
I DO NOT WANT TO RECOVER
Thank you very much, I am quite happy with my addiction, obsession, compulsion or whatever.
:roll:
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Started by Pavelski in Ski Chatter 28-Mar-2012 - 42 Replies
Catp
reply to 'Skier Types' posted Mar-2012
Iceman
reply to 'Skier Types' posted Mar-2012
Welcome. Admitting the problem is always the first step to recovery!
My names icy, and I am addicted to j2ski!
My names icy, and I am addicted to j2ski!
The Northern Monkey. Jan'23 Les Arcs
OldAndy
reply to 'Skier Types' posted Mar-2012
Iceman wrote:Welcome. Admitting the problem is always the first step to recovery!
My names icy, and I am addicted to j2ski!
and it is always the same !!!!!
This bald assumption that there is a problem as perceived by some do-gooder or single issue pressure group or politicisan wanting re-election or specialist wanting funds for his/her speciality .....
Always the same ......
I DO NOT WANT TO RECOVER
Thank you very much, I am quite happy with my addiction, obsession, compulsion or whatever.
:roll:
www
Snow dance !!! my snow dance on youtube
Iceman
reply to 'Skier Types' posted Mar-2012
I know I am addicted.... But I don't want to get over it. It is fun!!
The Northern Monkey. Jan'23 Les Arcs
OldAndy
reply to 'Skier Types' posted Mar-2012
Well ......
After comments from Icy, catp and others I thought a new addition was needed :mrgreen:
Number 8 - added now :thumbup:
Both Pavel and Ranchero have lists that make some interesting reading but I do think that this kind of broad brush stroke "types" leave a lot to be desired.
I wonder if the following series or progression of grades is not more appropriate for the majority of holiday/part time skiers??
1 – Total beginner. Never skied/boarded, been in the mountains, but fancies the idea or has been dragged into it by friends/relatives/lover/prospective lover etc. Believes everything he/she has been told, has read, watched and has the expectation of giving those flash g***s on Ski Sunday a run for their money next year as "how difficult can it be?"
2 – Second day skier – "OMFG – these boots must be the wrong size, and that instructor is an idiot taking us on a black run and who sold me these gloves/saloppettes/jacket that leak/are too hot/too cold/not the right colour and look what's happened to my hair/nails/nose/bald patch/bum/wallet .......
3 – Second week skier – "last year the instructor had us on blacks by the end of the week". Really got the bug, spent loadsamoney on kit and decides that lessons aren't needed as it's better to learn by experience. Takes 4 hours to get back after getting lost and stuck at the top of the resort signature black mogul field. Buys new sallopettes as worn out the seat through sliding down said black mogul field. Changes skis as they weren't right for the conditions. Buys boots as this will make him/her such a better skier. Buys boots for an "expert" (red ones, of course) and 2 sizes too big as they are really comfy in the shop.
4 – Intermediate – has skied a red and slid down a black but got the bug and not going to be put off, thank you very much!! Sold boots on e-bay and bought new ones, only one size too big. Goes to a "major" resort instead of tiddly little hill. OMFG !!!!!! Who made mountains so big???? And this blue is harder than the black last year and who are these idiots going so fast and who lets those 7 year olds ski like that, they are terrifying. But ................ I can now carry my skis like an old pro and have got the lingo down pat and in the bar who can tell what I actually look like on skis and that when I said I came straight down the [local downhill world cup piste] it took 1 hour and 23 minutes and not 1min and 23 seconds??
5 – Advanced skier – now skied for 5 weeks. Has read exhaustively about ski resorts and equipment and can pontificate in a very authoritative fashion on everything from skis and bindings, boots, to helmets, cameras, gloves ............ Ski resorts, the signature runs everywhere, different countries (although keeps quiet about going to Bulgaria), accommodation, and, of course, has every webcam as a favourite on the internet.
6 – Expert Skier – Nearly at the peak of skiing career. Skis every year, more than one week usually. Has an opinion about every aspect of skiing and the mountains and has built up/made up a good load of stories about skiing exploits to amuse friends/casual acquaintances/poor s**s stuck on chair, in telecabine etc etc. As, of course, everyone will be very interested.
7 – True professional –a philosophical approach to skiing. Got in the groove, got the skiing "day" well settled to include several bar stops, lunch stops, après ski stops. Kit is more about comfort, plenty of pockets or a rucksack, lightweight skis, easily removable clothing for any eventuality. Has now gained the experience to feel secure in any situation. Has an abundance of techniques to avoid being caught out and revealed as just your average holiday hack. Has perfected the "look" of the serious mountain performer and knows how to hold court in the local après ski watering hole (arrives about 2.15 to get favourite seat/spot). Knows just when to shut up and keep quiet, even leave (move on) without risking being caught out. This is the peak that we all aspire to but so few attain.
8 - The sadly addicted skier - this category does not relate to number of years skiing, number of weeks on snow or to any perceived ability to snowplough, parallel, carve, bounce the bumps, cruise the powder, master the chutes etc
But .....
Can be achieved (mastered is the wrong term - this is an inate ability) at any time from the first perusal of a ski holiday brochure right through to post normal retirement age. The Sadly Addicted skier; thinks about skiing before the first coffee, tea, toast, fag in the morning and after the last wine, beer, fag, kiss in the evening. The Sadly Addicted skier will know the expected snow fall and resort temperature in several countries - even though no ski trip is planned for several months. The Sadly Addicted skier will be watching, on a daily basis, resort webcams from early September and will get ludicrously over excited when 3" of snow falls. The Sadly Addicted skier spends hours on kit supplier websites - even though no purchase is planned or needed. The Sadly Addicted skier will live on a ski forum to the detriment of work, family, the garden, the dog and the real world. Recognise anyone you know?
:oops:
After comments from Icy, catp and others I thought a new addition was needed :mrgreen:
Number 8 - added now :thumbup:
Both Pavel and Ranchero have lists that make some interesting reading but I do think that this kind of broad brush stroke "types" leave a lot to be desired.
I wonder if the following series or progression of grades is not more appropriate for the majority of holiday/part time skiers??
1 – Total beginner. Never skied/boarded, been in the mountains, but fancies the idea or has been dragged into it by friends/relatives/lover/prospective lover etc. Believes everything he/she has been told, has read, watched and has the expectation of giving those flash g***s on Ski Sunday a run for their money next year as "how difficult can it be?"
2 – Second day skier – "OMFG – these boots must be the wrong size, and that instructor is an idiot taking us on a black run and who sold me these gloves/saloppettes/jacket that leak/are too hot/too cold/not the right colour and look what's happened to my hair/nails/nose/bald patch/bum/wallet .......
3 – Second week skier – "last year the instructor had us on blacks by the end of the week". Really got the bug, spent loadsamoney on kit and decides that lessons aren't needed as it's better to learn by experience. Takes 4 hours to get back after getting lost and stuck at the top of the resort signature black mogul field. Buys new sallopettes as worn out the seat through sliding down said black mogul field. Changes skis as they weren't right for the conditions. Buys boots as this will make him/her such a better skier. Buys boots for an "expert" (red ones, of course) and 2 sizes too big as they are really comfy in the shop.
4 – Intermediate – has skied a red and slid down a black but got the bug and not going to be put off, thank you very much!! Sold boots on e-bay and bought new ones, only one size too big. Goes to a "major" resort instead of tiddly little hill. OMFG !!!!!! Who made mountains so big???? And this blue is harder than the black last year and who are these idiots going so fast and who lets those 7 year olds ski like that, they are terrifying. But ................ I can now carry my skis like an old pro and have got the lingo down pat and in the bar who can tell what I actually look like on skis and that when I said I came straight down the [local downhill world cup piste] it took 1 hour and 23 minutes and not 1min and 23 seconds??
5 – Advanced skier – now skied for 5 weeks. Has read exhaustively about ski resorts and equipment and can pontificate in a very authoritative fashion on everything from skis and bindings, boots, to helmets, cameras, gloves ............ Ski resorts, the signature runs everywhere, different countries (although keeps quiet about going to Bulgaria), accommodation, and, of course, has every webcam as a favourite on the internet.
6 – Expert Skier – Nearly at the peak of skiing career. Skis every year, more than one week usually. Has an opinion about every aspect of skiing and the mountains and has built up/made up a good load of stories about skiing exploits to amuse friends/casual acquaintances/poor s**s stuck on chair, in telecabine etc etc. As, of course, everyone will be very interested.
7 – True professional –a philosophical approach to skiing. Got in the groove, got the skiing "day" well settled to include several bar stops, lunch stops, après ski stops. Kit is more about comfort, plenty of pockets or a rucksack, lightweight skis, easily removable clothing for any eventuality. Has now gained the experience to feel secure in any situation. Has an abundance of techniques to avoid being caught out and revealed as just your average holiday hack. Has perfected the "look" of the serious mountain performer and knows how to hold court in the local après ski watering hole (arrives about 2.15 to get favourite seat/spot). Knows just when to shut up and keep quiet, even leave (move on) without risking being caught out. This is the peak that we all aspire to but so few attain.
8 - The sadly addicted skier - this category does not relate to number of years skiing, number of weeks on snow or to any perceived ability to snowplough, parallel, carve, bounce the bumps, cruise the powder, master the chutes etc
But .....
Can be achieved (mastered is the wrong term - this is an inate ability) at any time from the first perusal of a ski holiday brochure right through to post normal retirement age. The Sadly Addicted skier; thinks about skiing before the first coffee, tea, toast, fag in the morning and after the last wine, beer, fag, kiss in the evening. The Sadly Addicted skier will know the expected snow fall and resort temperature in several countries - even though no ski trip is planned for several months. The Sadly Addicted skier will be watching, on a daily basis, resort webcams from early September and will get ludicrously over excited when 3" of snow falls. The Sadly Addicted skier spends hours on kit supplier websites - even though no purchase is planned or needed. The Sadly Addicted skier will live on a ski forum to the detriment of work, family, the garden, the dog and the real world. Recognise anyone you know?
:oops:
www
Snow dance !!! my snow dance on youtube
Edited 1 time. Last update at 31-Mar-2012
Iceman
reply to 'Skier Types' posted Mar-2012
:thumbup: I have been promoted from number 5!!
....to Sadly addicted skier! :roll:
....to Sadly addicted skier! :roll:
The Northern Monkey. Jan'23 Les Arcs
Pavelski
reply to 'Skier Types' posted Mar-2012
May I suggest to Dave ( the site Guru ),,,The man lurking behind all this text who is responsible for this wonderful site;
-print Old Andy's classification in a unique place in site
-this classification becomes the J2ski skier classification
-on profiles section that a self evaluation be included
- "progress reports " be available every year
Finally to reach the 3 top parts ( classifications ) a J2skier must demonstrate his/her skills to another j2skier on slopes ( evaluation sessions before beer sessions )!
I will produce free of charge an official "certificate" signed by Dave for anyone who reaches the top three levels. You realize that this is the first world wide standard skier evaluation system ever established !
Who will be the first one to get this "certificate" ?
-print Old Andy's classification in a unique place in site
-this classification becomes the J2ski skier classification
-on profiles section that a self evaluation be included
- "progress reports " be available every year
Finally to reach the 3 top parts ( classifications ) a J2skier must demonstrate his/her skills to another j2skier on slopes ( evaluation sessions before beer sessions )!
I will produce free of charge an official "certificate" signed by Dave for anyone who reaches the top three levels. You realize that this is the first world wide standard skier evaluation system ever established !
Who will be the first one to get this "certificate" ?
Daved
reply to 'Skier Types' posted Mar-2012
just a minor point...how can you demonstrate the level I have reached ( 8 ) on the slopes :D
Edited 1 time. Last update at 31-Mar-2012
Topic last updated on 31-March-2012 at 17:09