Skiers with no confidence

Alright everyone, good to be back thinking about skiing again!!

This could be a bit of a never ending thread/answer but I'll ask anyway. Has anyone any experience of tackling people who have the ability but zero confidence whatsoever?

Both my wife and mother are examples of this. Every time something remotely challenging or out of their comfort zone comes along it's all "No, no, no" and "I can't, I can't, I can't" etc. Now my issue isn't trying to push people into things they don't want to do, my problem is both of them CAN ski but their attitudes are holding them back massively. They would have you believe they have no ability at all. I don't know if this is a digging for compliments mission or a genuine lack of faith. It's probably fair to say both are also a bit more aware of their own mortality than me and the rest of the family/group which also doesn't help! I think Mum especially has hang ups from a doomed snowboarding trip about 7-8 years ago (first taste of wintersports).

They're both at beginner level but when they motivate themselves to actually get on the lift linking snow plough turns isn't a problem (from an outside looking in perspective anyway) and Mum even builds up speed in places. But there's no progression because fear gets in the way, for example the mental step up from the nursery slopes and short greens to a gentle but longer blue is a straight "No" without any consideration.

I basically want them to both just relax and let the magic happen! ) I've explained that everyone goes through the falling over and not being able to get up part and everyone struggles with drag lifts at the dry slope the first few times etc etc but, I'm sorry, if you don't actually try you won't get better.

I'm sure there must be some people on here with instructing experience who have encountered this. Are there any tips/tricks or is it purely a personal battle for the person concerned?

This season will be Mum's third in a row plus she's had a couple of 4 dayers as well. If she comes (which is in doubt because of this) it will only be my wife's second season. Both have had dry slope and private lessons in resort. If it makes any odds we'll be back in Arinsal this season which is perfect for beginners.

Cheers guys,
Ryan

Hi Ryan, this is normally the most difficult phase of every skiers progress. The only difference is the time taken to get through it. Some people 10 minutes, some 10 years. There is a lot that can be done to improve the process.

A key thing is to remind people of what they can do now, compared with their first day on skis.
Talk to the ski school and ask if they have a class where the learning gradient is a low rise curve, ie very gradual learning.
The choice of resort is critical.
Maybe it might be wise not to get too personally involved, let their classes bond.
Don't get hung up on progress to parallel. When you look at young children learning naturally, they are all snowploughing down the mountain. The snowplough can take you a long way. It then becomes much easier, when going back to a lesser slope, to then try the progression.
There is a lot of info on youtube.

Dave - I quite agree about the snow plough being versatile and that's all I'm asking for, certainly not parallel. The problem is getting them just to practice that. It seems regardless of praise and encouragement, which there has been lots of, their own self-doubt, belief and fear stops them actually acknowledging that they are skiing and doing everything right. Because of this they often choose to sit out for large chunks of the day.
So I'm not necessarily after progress in the skiing but the attitude, which I'm sure is probably harder!

Ok, I see the issue. I have been working with one lady for two years. She lacks confidence, but has bucketfuls of determination ~ I am 99% confident she will make a breakthrough.
I have known, in my time, hundreds of people get through this, and it isn't easy for some of them.
Do either of them have friends who are older and would like to have a try at skiing?

Hey Ryanh1418

I am a Basi level 4 instructor and I started teaching skiing 20 years ago, I have also written papers on fear in skiing.

I feel for you man, I know exactly how you are feeling, but I have to say one of the worst things you can do is push them. one of the best things you can do is try to understand why.

In the case of skiing we have to realise that there are two different types of fear that need to be looked at. The first is the obvious the fear of falling, we all have it and its natural, it keeps us alive. But then there is the other type of fear that comes into play, esspecially when we are learning something new.
The fear of failure.

Most of the time the first fear comes first, we feel tense not quite sure what is going to happen and we don't like the feel of not being completly in control. now at this point if we are able to get the feeling of control through technique we can conquer the fear and move on. But if our technique is not quite right then we don't get the feeling of control and so therefore we don't overcome the fear. now at this point the secon fear starts to come into play The fear of failure.

Now nobody wants to be a failure so what we do is we just stop trying because if we don't try and fail that's ok, we only failed because we did not try, not because we are failures, this makes it ok in our heads.

Now this point is very hard to come back from. And this is one thing that I specialise in. I have found that most of the problems come from how they have learned to snowplough (the very first lesson) if we learn this correctly we can get the feeling of control straight away. And a lot of the time I will take people back to this point so I can build them back up again with strong foundations under them, not weak wobbly ones.

Now once someone starts to feel control from the basics everything else will follow. Now unfortunately I don't know that many people who teach snowplough properly. Any mention of turning the feet in, push the heels out or bend the knees can result in loss of control and create the fear. So watch out for those.

Now I am in the process of putting together a website
piste2powder.com, on there will be a no. Of videos explaining the basics of skiing with the new techniques I have put together. All of which is designed to get the basics right and encourage confidence. This will all be free and hopefully live by early November, just in time for the new ski season.

So just remember not to push them into doing it as they don't want to fail they will just stop trying, if they get the correct technique they will start to overcome the fear and be able to move on. This is what I beleive is they best bet to keep them skiing.

I hope that has helped a little and when the videos come out you will be to see how to start to correct.

Some strong points there P2P. I am interested in observing the natural process whereby children learn to ski, mainly as a playing process, and migrating this to adults.
I also think you are right when mentioning the snowplough technique. That leads to a sackful of hang ups.
Control of emotions is key. Good eye contact when explaining, leading to self-belief.

Dave that would be a good thing to try, i would be interested to see the results, just as long as you don't get the adults to plough like the kids!!!!

I am wondering if this is a female thing. My mates GF has been skiing quite a number of times. I have skied with her and she is more than capable. However, she all to often reverts into a snowplough, and you just cant spend more than an hour with her on the slopes as she is slower than a slow thing from the University of Slowness.
Her problem is not technique, as when she is put on the spot she can ski competently. However, her issue is clearly a confidence one. I believe she is scared of going faster than about 5mph; whether this is a fear of falling or being out of control, I do not know.
I know her BF becomes frustrated with her, because she can ski well enough, but I do not know where the problem lies.
I have tried encouraging her, shouting at her, skiing with her, leaving her alone.....anything and everything. Her BF has done more of the same, and whilst he will not hear a negative word against her, I know for a fact that it frustrates him, as they are unable to join with a group and explore the mountain, as he likes to do.

More and more stories I hear like this are of women, and whilst I do not want to come across as sounding sexist, maybe this is an issue with the fairer sex?